Monday, August 16, 2010

'fear is of death'- Personal Speculation on Death

ok, bottle of water near by, just finished smoking a cig (I'm planning on quitting once i have a new career), and i'm ready to at least share my perspective on death, for what it is worth, take it or leave it, it is just my perspective.

So, I believe that all that happens when we die, is we enter into awareness, awareness of everything that exist. I believe we are able to see and hear and feel and know everyone's perspective that has existed or does exist, we become like God, or we become one with God.

Matter is neither created nor destroyed.

"In physics, energy (from the Greek ἐνέργεια - energeia, "activity, operation", from ἐνεργός - energos, "active, working"[1]) is a quantity that is often understood as the capacity to perform work. This quantity as the contained energy can be assigned to any particle, object, or system of objects as a consequence of its physical state. Different forms of energy include kinetic, potential, thermal, gravitational, sound, elastic and electromagnetic energy. The forms of energy are often named after a related force. German physicist Hermann von Helmholtz  established that all forms of energy are equivalent - energy in one form can disappear but the same amount of energy will appear in another form.[2] Energy is subject to a conservation law. Energy is a scalar physical quantity. In the International System of Units (SI), energy is measured in joules, but in some fields other units such as kilowatt-hours and kilo-calories are also used.

Any form of energy can be transformed into another form. When energy is in a form other than thermal energy, it may be transformed with good or even perfect efficiency, to any other type of energy" - from wikipedia

So if matter is neither created nor destroyed, then everything must be  a displacement of energy. We are alive, we are forms of energy. I think we are unique, the entities in which we now live are unique and un-repeated forms of energy that will never happen again. We only have our one life to live as uniquely this form of energy.

But when we die, as far as I understand it, DMT floods the brain and this is the last experience everybody has when we die. I think, when we die, DMT is transferring us into an awareness of everything else with DMT in it, we just become aware of everything, everything that is real, everything that has or had DMT in it.

So, I think we create our own heaven or hell on earth, by limiting ourselves to being so locked into our own perspective, and not really listening or thinking about other peoples perspective. I think it is in listening to other people's perspective, and really thinking and considering what they say, and why they say it, and who they are, that we become closer to heaven on earth. But i think heaven or hell can only exist on earth. So, if we keep destroying the earth, and keep fearing each other, and fearing the apocalypse, that we will achieve that apocalypse because we never took the time to really consider what we are doing, or who we are, as a whole. 

As a collective part of the whole earth. We are all small little forms of energy, that will have a beginning and end, but that energy does not end, it continues on, and will become something or somebody else that is unique. So, the more we are aware of eachother and the world, the closer we will get to being aware of what causes us happiness or sadness, or emotions in general. Through knowledge, we learn to not be so scared of eachother. 

Through communicating our ideas, sharing, and collaborating, and really considering eachother's perspective, that is how we become aware of the reality we now exist in. We only have one life to make a difference for the better good of all forms of energy. If we use our energy together, and pay attention to how we are using our energy, we can work for the greater good of everyone and everything. But everyone has to do it together, everyone has to try a little. 

Communication is a form of energy, technology makes this form easier. science and technology can also make our lives easier and longer, and who doesn't want to stay alive to keep experiencing and learning all we can in this one life we have to live. Life is now. Yes, death will eventually happen, but that is not the important thing, it is the life we are living right now that is important. Time and energy don't stop, but if we keep just thinking about how we can best get ahead as singular entities, rather than thinking about how we can best get ahead as a whole, we will all go to hell. There are many ppl I think that are already living in hell, and the only way to get out of it, is to stop thinking about one's own self so much, and go out of the way to help other ppl out. Say hello to other ppl, get to know them. Know their name, know their face, recognize they are alive and part of the whole collective. We are all just humans, we are all just living right here, right now, on earth. We can all do what we can in this one life-time to make things better for everyone in this life-time, and in the life-times to come, for our children too. But not just our genetically given children, everyone's children.


Saturday, August 14, 2010

"Collaboration with the Choir" - 2010

It goes something like fuck, the drums and the sweat
of a holy revelation, the pulpit of regret
in all the hard-pressed, misplaced
guilt and frustration summed up into
two scenes in twenty-four hours.
I hummed the serenade of the over-practiced choir
and contemplate on what is paid,
the price of desire, fixated on a love and hate
relation with myself, and delve into
a preacher's raid on how to aspire
to a perspective much higher, but
last night and this mood didn't sway
my desire for more than a coin collected
exchange of god power.
I need a beat that could hold me
to one place where two days weren't liars
of one me in two moods, guilt and desire.
I need a unified scene to be both sinner and saint.
I need to re-focus my senses, where reality
of moods can meet and I can be me.

Friday, August 13, 2010


New International Version (©1984)
I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself.New Living Translation (©2007)
As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don't even trust my own judgment on this point.
English Standard Version (©2001)
But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself.
New American Standard Bible (©1995)
But to me it is a very small thing that I may be examined by you, or by any human court; in fact, I do not even examine myself.
International Standard Version (©2008)
It is a very small thing to me that I should be examined by you or by any human court. In fact, I don't even evaluate myself.
GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995)
It means very little to me that you or any human court should cross-examine me. I don't even ask myself questions.
King James Bible
But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged of you, or of man's judgment: yea, I judge not mine own self.
American King James Version
But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged of you, or of man's judgment: yes, I judge not my own self.
American Standard Version
But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged of you, or of man's judgment: yea, I judge not mine own self.
Bible in Basic English
But it is a small thing to me that I am judged by you or by man's judging; I am not even a judge of myself.
Douay-Rheims Bible
But to me it is a very small thing to be judged by you, or by man's day; but neither do I judge my own self.
Darby Bible Translation
But for me it is the very smallest matter that I be examined of you or of man's day. Nor do I even examine myself.
English Revised Version
But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged of you, or of man's judgment: yea, I judge not mine own self.
Webster's Bible Translation
But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you, or by man's judgment: yes, I judge not my own self.
Weymouth New Testament
I however am very little concerned at undergoing your scrutiny, or that of other men; in fact I do not even scrutinize myself.
World English Bible
But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you, or by man's judgment. Yes, I don't judge my own self.
Young's Literal Translation
and to me it is for a very little thing that by you I may be judged, or by man's day, but not even myself do I judge,
Geneva Study Bible
{3} But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged of you, {4} or of man's {b} judgment: yea, {5} I judge not mine own self.
(3) In reprehending others, he sets himself for an example, and anticipates an objection. Using the gravity of an apostle, he shows that he does not care for the contrary judgments that those have of him, in that they esteemed him as a vile person, because he did not set forth himself as they did. And he brings good reasons why he was not moved with the judgments which they had of him.
(4) First, because that which men judge in these cases of their own brains is not to be considered any more than when the unlearned judge of wisdom.
(b) Literally, day, after the manner of Cilician speech.
(5) Secondly, he says, how can you judge how much or how little I am to be made responsible for, seeing that I myself who know myself better than you do, and who dare profess that I have walked in my calling with a good conscience, dare not yet nonetheless claim anything to myself. Nonetheless, I know that I am not blameless: much less therefore should I flatter myself as you do.
4:3 It is a very small thing that I should be judged of you. The essential matter with Paul was, not that the Corinthians should judge him a faithful steward, or that he should be faithful in his own judgment, but that the Lord shall count him faithful. Of course, with factions at Corinth, some disparaged Paul.
4:3 Yea, I judge not myself - My final state is not to be determined by my own judgment.
judgment: Gr. day
3. it is a very small thing-literally, "it amounts to a very small matter"; not that I despise your judgment, but as compared with God's, it almost comes to nothing.
judged . of man's judgment-literally, "man's day," contrasted with the day (1Co 3:13) of the Lord (1Co 4:5; 1Th 5:4). "The day of man" is here put before us as a person [Wahl]. All days previous to the day of the Lord are man's days. Emesti translates the thrice recurring Greek for "judged . judge . judgeth" (1Co 4:4), thus: To me for my part (though capable of being found faithful) it is a very small matter that I should be approved of by man's judgment; yea, I do not even assume the right of judgment and approving myself-but He that has the right, and is able to judge on my case (the Dijudicator), is the Lord.
4:1-6 Apostles were no more than servants of Christ, but they were not to be undervalued. They had a great trust, and for that reason, had an honourable office. Paul had a just concern for his own reputation, but he knew that he who chiefly aimed to please men, would not prove himself a faithful servant of Christ. It is a comfort that men are not to be our final judges. And it is not judging well of ourselves, or justifying ourselves, that will prove us safe and happy. Our own judgment is not to be depended upon as to our faithfulness, any more than our own works for our justification. There is a day coming, that will bring men's secret sins into open day, and discover the secrets of their hearts. Then every slandered believer will be justified, and every faithful servant approved and rewarded. The word of God is the best rule by which to judge as to men. Pride commonly is at the bottom of quarrels. Self-conceit contributes to produce undue esteem of our teachers, as well as of ourselves. We shall not be puffed up for one against another, if we remember that all are instruments, employed by God, and endowed by him with various talents.



 all of this blog post was directly copy and pasted from, they deserve all the credit for this post: http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/4-3.htm

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Knowledge and Emotion, and how they connect :)

    So, as I have spent many years around many different types n personalities of people, I've come to notice somethings in common. Again, just my perspective, but I think that more than anything else people like to be acknowledged. Acknowledged by someone or by a lot of people. Acknowledged for what and who they know. I hope one day I will be acknowledged for what and who I know, that I will be acknowledged for writing this blog, and writing my perspective which I hope will benefit anyone and everyone who cares to read it. I've noticed that, for example, when kids get a right answer in school, and are congratulated for it, it makes them feel good. It makes them feel accomplished at least in that moment in time. 

In writing my blog I'm trying to say I acknowledge all people, for being who and what you are, and I congratulate and appreciate your thoughts, ideas, perspectives, and simply your lives. I appreciate you for adding to my knowledge, and I acknowledge you are the reasons why I have shaped my perspective and life to be what it is. People feel good for being recognized and acknowledged. I think that knowledge in general is what makes people feel good. Knowledge of coming across something new, finding something/anything or someone/anyone that has some form of knowledge in common with them, and thereby forms a relationship with them.

It is conversation in general that makes this knowledge happen. Otherwise, people are limited to only their minds, their singular thoughts, which is a form of solitary confinement. I believe that solitary confinement is the worst punishment known to mankind, as we are social and inter-dependent animals. While people can survive on one's own, it is not a good feeling. Why did 'god' make 'eve' for 'adam'? For companionship, to make him feel better by having someone who shares something in common with him.

I don't think that companionship must be exclusively a romantic relationship, but I think we also desire that form of companionship as well. A best friend, a sole person that best understands you. But I think a best friend is far more important to making people feel good than the desire for sex, or money, or anything else. I think that is how we connect to God, by connecting to each other, in any capacity that occurs. In writing my blog, that was my hope. To connect with as many people as I could by sharing my singular perspective on how and why I choose to live my life the way I do. If you are alive, you are a human, and you are equal to me, because ultimately we are all after the same thing. Acknowledgment of what we think, feel, and know. I hope to know more, more people, more perspectives, more studies, more of life, because as far as I know I only have one life to live. I'm trying everything I know how to live it to the fullest. 

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Desire of Being Known and Knowing Others

alright ladies, gents, n hermy-can'tbeputinboxes, this is where I think things really comes together- about the human condition and all. gotta back track on an earlier thought for a sec, though.

"Ok, people's utmost desire, because we are a people of community and relationships, is to be engaged and appreciated for our unique perspective within those relationships. Our worst punishment is solitary confinement. We, however, relate to our desire to be with and around other mainly based off emotion, intuition, and human instinct."- Nature of Desire post----

So, it seems that many people assume abnormality must be flawed, but in my reality, that is exactly the point. I'm ok with being known and recognized for my unique and individual perspective. I think most people just want to be known, have someone to know their name, remember their thoughts as uniquely and originally their own. I enjoy conversations with others of similar and alternative perspectives, and being a part of the input for the conversation at hand, I think we all do. 
 

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Desire and Relationships

Well, to finish an earlier thought, I must continue with the nature of relationships and how they relate to both knowledge and desire.

So, it seems to me (please, correct me if I'm wrong here) that people base their desire of relationships mainly off of their emotional response to the knowledge or appearance of another. To me, it does not seem to be an equal balance of desire. People relate their desire to be with and around other people mainly based off emotion, intuition, and human instinct. People seem to find commonalities with each other based off how they emotionally respond to each other a lot more often than actual knowledge of each other. But, I tend to think emotions are temporal states of being, and thus a relationship based solely off emotional impulse seems a lot less credible for success than the ones based off actual knowledge, actual knowing what and who that other person is, thus they don't last as long.

BUT if a relationship is more completely based off actually getting to KNOW the other person, from common interests to life-long endeavors, perhaps more meaningful and successful relationships could be attained for all. Of course, this does take a degree of truly knowing oneself, to know who one is and what one wants out of a relationship is by no means an easy process to attempt to explore. 

So, I'll just at least share my own. I know for me, personally, I need relationships that value 1. Conversation 2. Companionship 3. Equality 4. Compromise 5. Commitment 6. Dedication to fostering a considerate and balanced love. This list is exhaustive, but flexible and they are tenants I am certain I need to be in a relationship. At least for me.

speaking of conversation, a lil something that got me thinking...


"Contrary to many of the linguistic theories of the day, which focused on diachronic linguistics or the changes in languages over time, Saussure developed a theory of synchronic language, how language works in the present. He argued that the relationship between the spoken word (signifier) and object (signified) is arbitrary and that meaning comes through the relationship between signs, which are for Saussure the union of signified and signifier. So the word "tree" means  image of tree by custom only and not through any intrinsic relationship between the sound and the thing. That's why both "arbol" and "tree" can both signify the same signified. English speakers construct meaning by distinguishing between tree and treat and trek as well as between tree and bush and flower. Meaning, then, comes from understanding what a thing IS NOT rather than from knowing in any kind of ontological sense what a thing IS. Meaning is constructed through difference, particularly through binary pairs (man/woman, good/evil). There is no absolute Platonic ideal "out there" to anchor meaning. There is no truth that is not constructed. There is nothing outside language. Language speaks (through) us. Language is thus a system of signs or a semiotic system, but merely one of many, all of which construct meaning, which does not exist outside the semiotic system."

sourced from http://www.ic.arizona.edu/ic/mcbride/theory/305struct.htm